I have never been known for my patience. I pride myself on being productive and making things happen, and so it’s not unusual for me to feel a creeping discontent when things don’t go to plan.
Do you ever feel like this?
“Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.”
Leo Tsu
One of my coaching clients is diligently working towards the acquisition of a property deal. She knows what she wants and roughly where it should be, her structure, and price tolerance. But the deal hasn’t materialised. And she is growing increasingly frustrated.
This brings us to the subject of patience. There are 2 schools of thought on success:
- One is that you GO FOR IT! pull out all stops and continue until…
- The other is that you script it, work diligently towards it and then watch in faithful anticipation for its arrival.
The first assumes control over the outcome, the latter lets it go.
And therein is the key.
I have found that holding too tightly to my dreams can suffocate them and make the wait an anxious, torturous one.
So what is the alternative?
The alternative is to make peace with where you’re at, clarify your intentions, take consistent action towards your goal and continue with curious anticipation.
Let’s break this down:
1. Make peace with where you’re at.
Hindsight should be banned from the party except to extract wisdom.
What did you learn from the decision or action you took or missed?
When “shoulda, woulda, and coulda” enter your conversation, you’re not helping yourself. I used to be a shocker with this one, but have found it useful to realise that all decisions are based on probability.
For example, we think it is a good time to sell, we weigh the options and make a decision. In time the market will rise or fall. Regardless, you made the best decision you could at the time. This is where you’re at; move on.
2. Clarify your intentions.
This is a biggie. We want to have a record quarter and be a more attentive mum. Sometimes our goals are in conflict with each other. Make a decision about your current area of focus, attend to that and determine what you’re prepared to sacrifice to get it.
When coaching, I often ask – what is likely to get in the way of achieving that goal? The more you can clarify and feel the outcome you seek and list the likely obstacles in the way, the more you can set and achieve realistic goals.
3. Take consistent action towards your goal.
“When you pray, move your feet.”
African Proverb
Manifesting is just a pipe dream unless accompanied by tangible action. If we can learn to love the process, it makes the waiting far more fun. Whether we’re looking for a project, a home, a partner, a break – if we can make peace with the present, remove resistance to the monotony of the grind and learn to love the day, it makes waiting redundant.
My daughter has taught me to do this better. She will throw herself into a work project for a discreet time and gamify her outcomes. One time she set a hefty goal for herself, removed distractions, and worked for several hours. On her lunch break, she rewarded herself by sewing an itty bitty top for a party that weekend, then proudly returned to her work. Her work, tempo, and day are fun. She lights a candle, has soft music playing, and loses herself in her creativity. Now that is a cool process to cultivate!
And lastly,
4. Continue with curious anticipation.
You remember hunting for Easter eggs as a kid?
You know the chocolate is out there, and you just have to locate it!
Imagine if you applied the same curious anticipation to your next venture, date or goal. If we absolutely knew success was a given, and we approached each day anticipating our actions were bringing us closer to our desires, then that frames our view of the world.
Try it, and let me know how you go!
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